“Financial independence is paramount. My mom always says that when a woman is financially independent, she has the ability to live life on her own terms. I think that was the soundest advice that I ever got. No matter where you go in life or who you get married to, you have to be financially independent — whether you use it or not,”— Priyanka Chopra, actress.
Cooking all glammed up and in high heels. Indulging in shopping sprees while our kids are at school. Tanning while arranging a business meeting through the phone. Sharing on Instagram how amazing is to be a new mom, while we have not slept for the last two days. Everyone seems to be having the time of their lives…
We are expected to have successful careers, be smart, courageous, beautiful, perfect partners and moms. And all this, in an unprecedented time filled with stress, real lives, virtual lives, home lives…pandemics… the list is literally endless. We are challenged like never before to keep on our shoulders so many roles, none of which we can afford to underperform. Are you just back from work? You can’t just sit and relax, you have to help your kids with their homework(and clean, and tidy up, and there is ALWAYS something to do, that does not include your personal wellbeing). Have you just cooked dinner? You can’t afford to smell like garlic when your husband comes home. Are you a caregiver, a psychologist, an educator, a role model, a playmate, a crying shoulder, a pillow, a mattress, a partner, a lover, a friend, a daughter, a professional, a housewife, or a mother? By all means, you are all of these and so much more. Do you play these roles, part-time or full-time? Probably you auto-play these in never-ending- time. There is no break from this. If you quit your career, you are inferior. If you neglect your parents, you are selfish. If you have not enough time for your kids, you are irresponsible. If you neglect your house, you are lazy…
We are filled with an unprecedented amount of information, models of how you, your house, your kids, your dogs should look like. How fun and happiness and love are supposed to look like. And we have such a limited amount of time to live it all. How do you maintain your sanity?
It’s overwhelming, to say the least. How do you escape from this trap, where everything and everyone is seeking your attention, your energy, and your emotional availability? The answer is not as simple as snapping your fingers, but despite the situation you find yourself in today, here is where to start.
You should sit with yourself in quiet, grab a piece of paper, and start writing: what is most important for you and the things that you engage yourself with on a day-to-day basis. Don’t limit yourself, write a full list. Then, rearrange them in the hierarchy starting from most important, to least important. Now do something else. Strike-through, the things you can do without, you can live without. The things, the absence of which, wouldn’t significantly change the quality of your life.
Be sincere with yourself and include the things you allow yourself to waste your time with: Instagram, Facebook, Youtube…to name a few.
Now you should be left with no more than 3 important things. And these are the things you should work for and make time for. One of these 3 things should be you own financial independence.
Every woman should be raised with this in mind: fight for your financial independence. Your own happiness depends from you. It is not anyone’s mission to make you happy. You make you happy. You set an alarm for waking up each morning, remembering every birthday, plan gifts with great detail, plan your family vacations…
But do you have a plan for your own happiness? Have you considered this might be your last day? What’s going to happen to your kids? What if this is your partner’s last day? What if you divorce? Even the things you have never imagined could happen, eventually might happen. As they have happened to the most perfect couples and families. It is way better to cry holding a glass of wine close to your pool, rather than on a sofa, which the owner’s cat has scratched. Financial distress will certainly aggravate any problem or challenge you might find yourself in. So, this needs to be a priority in your life.
Focus on learning new things and make money. You always need a back up plan, ready for a second chance in life.
This era’ in which we live and challenges us the most, also brings opportunities we shouldn’t miss. The Internet can empower us to learn almost anything, and we can use it to build a personal system that really enables us to be all that we expect from ourselves.
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