Once upon a time, a very long time ago, I believed that all women are men victims, while being such selfless, compassionate, maternal, courageous, and ever-noble creatures in the face of adversity. I also believed that all men are the oppressors of women. I guess his wasn’t always true; in fact, I believe it was just common knowledge, with the exception of a few idealistic feminists. My experiences in life, along with the research I’ve done on women’s psychology, have led me to the realization that, just like men, women are real human beings, just as close to apes as they are to angels, capable of both cruelty and compassion, envy and generosity, competition and cooperation. This is something I’ve learned from both my own life and from studying the psychology of women.

Because these are not socially acceptable characteristics for women to have and because a woman’s closest friends and confidantes are typically other women, it can be difficult for a woman to acknowledge that women, including herself, can be aggressive and cruel. This is one of the reasons why it is difficult for a woman to acknowledge that women are aggressive and cruel. The vast majority of women have a close female friends’ network, one which they rely on.

Women have an expectation that other women who most closely like themselves will empathetically groom (listen to, sympathize with) them emotionally. Because most women rely on shoulder-to-shoulder equality and sameness among their female intimates rather than male-like hierarchies with a leader and a chain of command, diversity (in looks or beliefs) can be very threatening to most of them.

It is natural for women to be aggressive and competitive with one another, and this behavior may, to some extent, be hardwired. In addition, women, just like men, have sexist attitudes that are deeply ingrained in their minds. Either we elevate women to the status of benevolent fairy godmothers or we vilify them in the role of wicked stepmothers. In general, women hold other women to a higher standard and have different expectations for them than they do for males. When women let us down, we have a tendency not to forgive them. We tend to feel more compassion for male failure or imperfection than we do for female failure or imperfection.

What are the next steps after this? Everyone I spoke to, almost without exception, concluded our conversation by asking me what steps women might take to deal with women’s unacknowledged aggression and sexism, as well as what might the parents of teenage girls tell their daughters about how to deal with female taunting and ostracism from other females. Therefore, what advice can we give to females?

  1. Recognize with humility that going through change is a process.

To begin, we have to acknowledge that transformation is a process, and that this process cannot be hurried. We have the remainder of our lives to work toward changing feelings of jealousy and conformity into feelings of tolerance and originality, and toward making the world a better place by avoiding acts of evil. So, what course of action should women take?

  1. Admit that certain things are true.

It is necessary for us to acknowledge some unpleasant facts. It is necessary for a woman to acknowledge that women are typically combative and competitive, and that oppressed women are also highly angry. As a result, women have a tendency to direct their anger on one another in order to vent their frustrations. An acknowledgment of this kind may assist a woman in being more practical about what she should expect from other women and in gaining a better understanding of her own limitations, as well.

  1. Develop

It is essential for every woman to cultivate a robust sense of self and an appreciation for her one-of-a-kindness. Nobody is able to take what is ‘good’ for you away from you. Honor your own aspirations as well as the aspirations of other women. Support powerful women who are ‘different’ from you rather than merely weak women who agree with you completely and who, as a result, do not threaten you. Honor your own ambitions as well as the ambitions of other women.

Women are more likely to be easily offended and to experience strong emotions. It is possible that we are overly sensitive to criticism as a result of having been subjected to excessive and unjustified criticism by both women and men beginning at a very young age. It is also possible that we have been treated as if we did not exist. Women have been conditioned to expect unfair criticism even in situations where there is none. As a result, one of my goals in life is to help other women develop the ability to listen to one another in a kind and considerate manner. At the same time, a woman needs to build up the strength to be able to listen to voices from the outside that are different and critical. It is not the same as expecting another woman to back you, regardless of whether you are right or wrong, or to falsely flatter you if you ask her what her honest opinion is.

  1. Let go of the rage you feel.

A woman may harbor a grudge against another woman for an extended period of time; she may turn other women against her victim, who is completely unaware of the situation. Instead, a woman can learn how to verbally and directly communicate her anger to the other woman who has insulted her, and then learn how to let go of that anger when she has done so. This is not a simple task to complete. It’s possible that here is the place where men can teach women some rules of engagement about how to fight honorably and then, whether they win or lose, how to go on, make friends with their adversaries, or at the very least, how to stop nursing a grudge.

  1. Speculate and then inquire about what you desire.

A woman needs to be taught to put what she wants into words and to ask for what she wants in a forthright manner rather than waiting for someone else to speculate on what it is that she desires. A woman does not have to blame herself, give up, disconnect, or become upset if she does not obtain what she wants if she is unable to acquire what she wants. She needs to realize that she can have what she wants one day, at another job, or with another person if she just gives it another chance. Women need to be encouraged to both progress and continue along their current path.

  1. Stay away from gossip

Never start a rumor about another woman, and if you overhear a rumor about another woman, never repeat it. Put an end to it in yourself. If the lady being discussed is someone you like, love, or care about, and if the things you are saying about her are not going to ruin her life or ruin her reputation, then it is absolutely acceptable to talk about her when she is not in the room. Slandering another woman or rallying other women against her in order to get even with her for some reason, whether it be jealousy or fear, is not an acceptable means of retaliation.

There is no way to escape the presence of gossip throughout the day.

  1. You are not perfect

If you have acted inappropriately, you should apologize right away and then move on. Give yourself some slack, and give the woman who comes after you some slack as well. Deal with the situation as soon as possible and have a frank conversation with her about it if she has slandered or undermined your reputation. Do not let it fester.

  1. Show respect for those of your own kind

Finally, even if we disagree with another woman, we must express our disagreement in a respectful and kind manner. The idea of an honorable opponent is one that has to be developed further. We should not instantly cast our adversaries and competitors in a negative light. It is not required that women love or detest one another for whatever reason. There is no requirement that any of us like the other. I am proposing that females interact with one another in a manner that is respectful and civilized.

These ideas might not strike you as very revolutionary. Believe what I say: they are. If each reader begins by recognizing that each of these points is true and if she makes a commitment to incorporate this newly discovered consciousness into her day-to-day relationships with other women, then she will become a participant in a significant psychological evolution. It takes a great number of separate ripples to create a wave.