This is a really reasonable question to ask oneself after the end of a relationship. No matter how amicably the relationship between the two of you came to an end, breakups are always challenging for everyone concerned. If you are still working through the emotional fallout of a toxic relationship, you may find dealing with them is very difficult for you. It’s possible that you’re feeling as though your life has been turned upside down or that you’ve briefly lost some control over the way you’re feeling. During this difficult period, it is imperative that you treat yourself with grace and care.
I am aware that you may find this process to be intimidating, so I am going to provide you a few suggestions that you may put into practice in order to start reclaiming your freedom and feeling like your (awesome) old self again. The following list of self-care decisions, both immediate and long-term, are meant to maintain your health while going through a breakup.
You need to create some distance between yourself and your ex-partner, both physically and emotionally.
It is of utmost importance to have crystal clear expectations regarding the frequency with which you intend to engage with and visit your ex-partner, if at all. Even if the decision to divorce was taken for the best possible reasons, these rules must still be adhered to. You could find it helpful to temporarily silence their social media profiles in order to allow yourself space to process the breakup without being reminded of your relationship on a frequent basis. This will offer you the opportunity to focus on other things during this time. Taking the specifics of the situation into account, this is something to think about.
If the breakup was an unhealthy one, you need to focus on establishing appropriate boundaries with your ex, both physically and virtually, which include having as little interaction with them as is humanly possible. In the direst of circumstances, you can find that you require a restraining order to safeguard your physical wellbeing. This might be the case in a number of different situations.
Give yourself permission to feel everything to its utmost and experience it to the fullest
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel, and there is also no “right” or “wrong” amount of time to spend working through your suffering. Try to slow down, simplify your life, and make less commitments at this time so that you have more mental space to cope with your feelings. Maintain your focus on the day that is currently happening and the requirements that you have at this very moment.
Be aware that even if your connection with your ex-partner was unhealthy, there will be days when you will miss them and days when it will feel as though they are still a part of your life. These feelings will continue even after the relationship has ended. The tendency for positive recollections rises more readily than memories of less pleasurable experiences. Keeping a journal in which, you discuss your relationship, including both the positive and negative aspects, will assist you in gaining a better understanding of the role that it plays in your life.
Collect a group of people who will support you.
Create a list of the people in your life in whom you place the highest level of trust, and then give yourself permission to be entirely open and exposed when you are in their company. This may include members of your immediate family as well as close personal friends (and don’t forget that this also includes your pets!). Close personal friends are also included in this category.
Be conscious of the likelihood that some people won’t understand what you’ve been going through, and as a result, they might come out as insensitive or unable to figure out what to say to you about it. In spite of the fact that doing so could leave you with an uncomfortable sensation, you should tell them what it is that you expect from them, and you should also be honest about whether or not their efforts are helping you. If you are unable to get what you require from those in your inner circle, look for a support group in your area or join one that is held online. This will make it possible for you to connect with other people who have gone through situations that are comparable to your own. Keep in mind that you are not the only one – everyone has had their heart broken at some point and has moved on.
Keeping a regular schedule is important, as is monitoring your health and taking care of your body.
Providing your body with the resources it needs to manage the impacts of emotional stress can be greatly assisted by ensuring that you are getting an adequate amount of sleep and eating a healthy food on a consistent basis. Moving your body and participating in physical activity, such as exercising, can help you alleviate some of the tension you are feeling. Low-intensity kinds of exercise, such as stretching, gentle yoga, or jogging, can all be beneficial. It is not necessary for exercises to be performed at a highly rigorous level. Exercising may also be useful if you are having trouble getting asleep or remaining asleep once you do fall asleep.
Other methods of self-care that you might want to experiment with include taking a relaxing bath, listening to soothing music, covering yourself in a luxurious blanket, getting a massage, or receiving hugs from friends, family, or pets.
Rebuild not only your sense of independence but also your sense of self-assurance
It is normal to experience feelings of loneliness after the end of a romantic relationship. You may be unsure of how to get back in touch with who you are. It’s possible that you’re having issues with your self-esteem, especially if your ex-partner tried to emotionally manipulate you or put you down on a regular basis when you were together and constantly put you down in conversations.
When you are ready, you should fill the extra time you now have by doing something that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the opportunity to accomplish before. Participate in a class or teach yourself a new skill; renew contact with old friends whom you haven’t seen in a while and make new friends among those you don’t know very well.
Always keep in mind that it takes a lifetime to become an expert in the art of loving oneself. However, it is vital to make an effort to be kind to oneself and to forgive oneself along the journey. It is also essential to make an effort to be nice to others.
Seek the assistance of professionals if you would like to acquire a greater amount of support.
If you are experiencing feelings of emotional overwhelm as a result of your current circumstances and believe that you could benefit from further support, you should seriously consider making an appointment with a therapist or psychologist so that they can help you work through your issues. If, after the end of the relationship, you continue to experience symptoms such as feeling unsafe or suffering from acute anxiety, flashbacks, or nightmares for a lengthy period of time, you may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). It is really necessary that you look for treatment in order for you to begin feeling safe again.
Before moving on to a new love partner, it is essential to ensure that you have given yourself the proper amount of time to completely work through your emotions following the termination of a previous personal partnership.
- Time is an ally and an adversary to you at the same time.
Regrettably, regaining your independence is not something that can be checked off a list once it has been completed because it cannot be considered finished. It will be some time before you reach the point where you feel fully great again. But you should be proud of every day that you are able to persevere, that you are able to wake up and get out of bed despite feeling maybe a little bit afraid or sad, but that you keep moving and you strive to be your best self. This is a day that you should be proud of. It is a waste of time bemoaning the fact that time takes time; rather, welcome it with open arms and consider it as an opportunity to quietly develop your personality and interests without being pushed to make substantial changes all at once.
I believe that you should look back on this time in your life as one of the most formative and significant times of your entire existence because of how much you have grown and changed as a result of it. Don’t be bashful about it!